I guess I should have been expecting you. Or maybe you never left? I don’t think you did. You just retreated enough for me to stop thinking about you. Like an annoying relative who is about to be asked to leave, you take your drink and sit quietly in the corner, staring at the football game, waiting for me to forget my irritation.

I knew you were there. Of course I did. I can’t quite enjoy myself when you’re around. When you sit quietly for a while, I can kind of loosen up…smile a bit. I laugh at people’s jokes and comment that, yes, after all, the weather is quite nice. When you stay in the background, I can ignore you…pretend you’re not here.

But you are here. You’re always here. I hate your freaking guts, you know. I wish you would go away. I wish you would go away and never speak to me again. I don’t want to feel you watching me. Waiting for everyone to leave…for your chance. I don’t want to hear your voice. That voice that makes me want to take a thousand pills and wash it down with gallons of something strong just to make you shut up. Just be quiet! No one likes you. You ruin everything.

I don’t know why I didn’t realize you were just waiting for things to calm down. For people to fall away and life to get back to a normal enough existence for the adrenaline to seep away so you could worm your way back in. Maybe I just wasn’t thinking. Or noticing. Didn’t realize it was you that made me feel so tired. That the book after book after nap and the growing laundry pile was not just a goal or a bug but…you.

I hate you. I’d kill you if I could. I thought I did. I tried. Fed you pill after pill. You tricked me. I thought you were dead.

But, of course, you’re not. Because you’re right here. Killing me slowly.

I have finished the sixty-first book in my Epic 100 Book Attempt of 2011!

Black Water by Joyce Carol Oates was an account of the watery death of twenty-six-year-old Kelly from the first page until the last. Interwoven with the telling…and re-telling…of the events of the day leading up to her death, memories from her childhood, and altered perceptions of time and reality are the gruesome details of Kelly’s last moments, trapped in a car beneath the black swamp water.

Oates is an incredible writer. I sit down with one of her shorter novels, such as “Black Water”, and I devour it. I don’t even need to stop. It only takes two or three hours. I’m not sure how many of these shorter novels she has written, but I might just make my 100 book goal if there are enough of them. Unlike the slow, methodical reading that my theology books sometimes require, I can tear through a novel like nobody’s business. You don’t have to think and contemplate, you just have to read the words and experience the story.

Man, I love books!

I have finished the sixtieth book in my Epic 100 Book Attempt of 2011!

A Mended and Broken Heart: The Life and Love of Francis of Assisi by Wendy Murray was the second book I’ve read about St Francis. The first one was by G.K. Chesterton, and, while I enjoyed it, I wanted to read a more detailed account of St Francis’ life. Chesterton’s biography was more like a commentary. It gave a general sketch of St Francis’ life, and then Chesterton expounded on that. Murray’s book, “A Mended and Broken Heart”, definitely fit the bill for a more detailed account. In her book, she gave lots of details, dates, and background information. There were many instances where I had a general idea of what happened from reading Chesterton’s book, but Murray’s book really filled in the outlined incident with a lot more detail.

Along with the more detailed account of St Francis’ life, Murray also introduced me to St Clare. Chesterton’s book touched on her, but Murray’s book gave her background, described her entrance to the life of a penitent, and told about her close relationship to St Francis.

The one thing I missed in Murray’s book was an accounting of the miracles that were attributed to St Francis. She did describe and discuss the stigmata, but I’m still anxious to learn more about the miraculous side of St Francis’ life. I’m hoping that I will be able to find something to this effect at the library on my next trip.

If anyone has any suggestions, please pass them along. “A Mended and Broken Heart” has my recommendation for anyone interested in the life of St. Francis.

I have finished the fifty-ninth book in my Epic 100 Book Attempt of 2011!

Beasts by Joyce Carol Oates was a very dark book. It was terrible and interesting at the same time. “Beasts” was a short novel, and I read it in a few hours. I read it start to finish without putting it down. It was gripping, but, as I said, very dark. It follows Jillian, a 20 year old college student at an all girls college, as she falls in love with her married teacher, and then becomes involved in a sadistic relationship with him and his sculptress wife. I don’t want to say much more about this little novel, but, if you happen to read it because I blogged about it, don’t say you I didn’t warn you…it’s dark.

As always, Oates’ writing is superb. I just love the way she writes. Her use of the English language is inspiring to me. I love it!

I have finished the fifty-eighth book in my Epic 100 Book Attempt of 2011!

The Land of Elyon #1: The Dark Hills Divide by Patrick Carman was an intriguing book, and I really enjoyed it. This was book that Kyra checked out of the library, and, because some of the words in the description on the back of the book, I decided to pre-read it before turning her loose with it. I’m glad I did, because I really enjoyed it. I’m looking forward to reading the other books in the series. This book was written for grades 4-6, but I can attest that it is still enjoyable for older readers.

One thing that I loved about this book is that the heroine, Alexa, is a twelve year old girl. She is brave, adventurous, and convinced of her own capabilities. Not bad qualities for a twelve-year-old, female character. The story itself is about Alexa’s attempt to find out just what lies beyond the walled cities that she resides within. Even the roads between the cities are walled in…by a forty foot high wall that no one is allowed to go outside of. Alexa’s attempts to find a way outside of the walls lead to an incredible adventure with a decidedly Narnian flavor. I loved the book, and I would definitely recommend it for kids. I can’t wait for Kyra to read it and tell me what she thinks.

I want to have a bit of a discussion here if anyone is game. My nine year old daughter is a voracious reader, and I want to do everything I can to encourage that. So far, we’ve not had very many issues with her or Elijah wanting to read books that I don’t want them to read.
The only instances of that have been “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” books and “Big Nate”. I told them I don’t want them to read them. Not because they’re “bad” books, but because I don’t like the name-calling in them. Kids my kids’ ages are already prone to name-calling and making fun of each other, and I don’t want to reinforce that by reading books that seem to put an emphasis on calling people “morons” etc. I just don’t like rude kids. At all. So, that’s just a small thing, and I think I’m probably in the minority with it. I don’t like the “gross out” books that appeal to boys, but I wouldn’t tell Elijah he couldn’t read one if gross was the only issue. I can handle gross a lot better than rude. I would rather him read something with a little more substance, but I don’t want to put so many rules on reading that it takes the excitement out of it.
Another thing that hasn’t come up yet but that I have already made my mind up about is “Harry Potter”, “Twilight”, and other books about witchcraft, vampires, etc. I’m not into that. I don’t like it. I don’t want my kids to have a positive opinion of such things. I believe witchcraft is both real and wrong. I don’t want it glamorized for my kids. There will probably be a time when I lift that restriction and let my (older) children make their own choices about that genre of books, but it won’t be anytime soon.
So, besides rude and witchcraft, I’ve pretty much let them read whatever appeals to them. I’ve felt like those few restraints were pretty reasonable for nine and seven year olds. However, the other day, I came upon this quote by C.S. Lewis:

“I am a product [...of] endless books. My father bought all the books he read and never got rid of any of them. There were books in the study, books in the drawing room, books in the cloakroom, books (two deep) in the great bookcase on the landing, books in a bedroom, books piled as high as my shoulder in the cistern attic, books of all kinds reflecting every transient stage of my parents’ interest, books readable and unreadable, books suitable for a child and books most emphatically not. Nothing was forbidden me. In the seemingly endless rainy afternoons I took volume after volume from the shelves. I had always the same certainty of finding a book that was new to me as a man who walks into a field has of finding a new blade of grass.”

This quote has really got me thinking. If a man like C.S. Lewis is the product of unrestricted access to any book he cared to read…well, I wouldn’t mind one of my children being the next C.S. Lewis. At the same time, I don’t think C.S. Lewis was wading through piles of asinine children’s books in his father’s library. Also, it was his father’s library and not the public library that he mentions, so I guess that implies a sort of screening of the books. Only the books his parents were okay with made it into the home, right?

So what do you guys think? I know that my readers come from lots of different places and viewpoints. What is important to you in regards to what your children read? Is it carefully pre-screened at your house or anything goes? Are there any topics that are taboo? Is there an age you have in your mind where you will give the kids the reins in the book selection process? Please share. I really want to get lots of comments and lots of points of view.

I have finished the fifty-seventh book in my Epic 100 Book Attempt of 2011!

A Fair Maiden by Joyce Carol Oates was an intriguing novel. I started reading it after church Sunday, and I didn’t put it down until I finished it. It was a shorter book, but interesting from the first page. Basically, it is a story about a sixteen year old nanny at the Jersey Shore who is befriended by a wealthy man in his sixties. After she discovers that the man is an artist, he asks her to be his model. As their relationship continues, she learns about a plan that he has laid out for them, and has to deal with the misdeeds of her friend and her complicated feelings toward him.

Parts of the book are downright creepy, but Oates has done a fantastic job making her characters multifaceted and believable. I really enjoy Oates’ work, and just checked out another of her novels from the library tonight. She is becoming one of my favorite authors.

I have finished the fifty-sixth book in my Epic 100 Book Attempt of 2011!

In Christ Alone: Living the Gospel Centered Life by Sinclair Ferguson was a pretty good book. The following is the book description from Amazon: “Noted theologian, pastor, and educator Dr. Sinclair B. Ferguson explores aspects of the person and work of Jesus in his latest book, In Christ Alone: Living the Gospel-Centered Life. This collection of articles, published earlier in Tabletalk magazine and Eternity Magazine, is designed to help believers gain a better understanding of their Savior and the Christian faith, and to live out that faith in their day-to-day lives. In fifty short chapters arranged in six sections, Dr. Ferguson shows that Christ, who is fully God, took on humanity that He might be the Great High Priest of His people as well as the once-for-all sacrifice; that He now ministers to His people through His Spirit, crowning them with great and precious blessings; and that believers are called to duty, from cultivating contentment to mortifying sin. In Christ Alone is packed full of nuggets of Scriptural truth that will spark and fan the flames of the believer s love for the Savior who is so beautiful in His person and so faithful in His work on behalf of His beloved sheep.”

My thoughts about the book are that it would make a good book to read one chapter a day as a sort of devotional. Though short, each chapter has a lot of really great truths. I didn’t agree with everything that Ferguson wrote, mainly about the work of the Holy Spirit, and bristled accordingly at his dogmatic presentation of his viewpoint. However, even though I didn’t agree with everything he wrote, there was so much good stuff in the book that I still recommend it. It’s a good book.

I have finished the fifty-fifth book in my Epic 100 Book Attempt of 2011!

Living Close to God: When You’re Not Good At It by Gene Edwards was kind of hard for me to get through. Not because it was a hard book to read. It was actually a very easy read. Edwards expressed that he felt his book should be very simple…Christianity should be presented very simply…because Jesus presented a simple message to often illiterate, uneducated people. His premise is that we’ve made it all too hard. On a lot of levels, I agree with him. However, I do think that the quality of writing a book that says all of that could have been much higher.

Edwards tells the story of how he was never very good at being “spiritual”, but how he had a breakthrough experience that changed his life. The point of the book is to share that experience as a sort of “how to”. Edwards believes that his experience can be replicated (on some level) for anyone who will take the time to try it. I don’t have any problems with his method of getting closer to God. He spent several short chapters telling about the different parts of his routine, but it really just boils down to “meditation”. He spend time in quiet meditation, concentrating on passages of Scripture or the name of Jesus. He also gives practical ideas on how to remind yourself to take the time to spend with God, emphasizing that it is not quantity of time that makes the difference.

I don’t have a problem with any of the techniques or rituals that Edwards proposes in his book. In fact, I felt inspired by the idea of meditation, and decided to implement more concentrated meditation in my own life. My problem isn’t with the idea behind the book but the book itself. It felt very redundant and monotonous to me. I feel like it would have made a much better magazine article. It seemed like he took content that would fit nicely in a few pages of a magazine and tried to stretch them into a book. He actually goes so far as to write the book, and then start all over halfway through and present all the same information again. He actually acknowledges that he’s going over it all again. The chapters were very brief and lacking in content. I didn’t like Edwards’ writing style; it felt like he didn’t try very hard. I just hoped it would be better than it was, because the title really pulled me in.

One redeeming factor in my mind is the included discussion group guide in the back of the book. I didn’t read them all, but glanced over them. It seems like really good discussion material. You don’t really need the whole of the book to understand and utilize the discussion guide. So, overall, there were good ideas, but the delivery was poor. I felt like the author’s assertion in the end of the book that the book was meant to be read over and over was pretty much wishful thinking. It was hard enough to get through the book the first time. I think if I wanted to revisit the idea of meditation, I would look into a book from another author.

I really wanted to write a nicer review, but I had to write an honest one. I’m just not sure if this one is worth your time.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

I have just finished the fifty-fourth book in my Epic 100 Book Attempt of 2011!

St. Francis of Assisi by G.K. Chesterton was an interesting biography. I’m not exactly sure how to describe it. It was beautifully written, of course, as are all of Chesterton’s writings. This small book was less of a straight-forward biography as it was almost an opinion piece on the life of St. Francis. I felt like I came away with a very basic framework of St. Francis’ life, but not the usual abundance of details about the life of the subject of a biography. I believe this was Chesterton’s intent, though, as he referred to the book as an introduction to the life of St. Francis. He also said that he hoped it would spark enough interest in the reader that they would do further research about the life of the saint. He accomplished his goal, I suppose, in this reader, because I still want to know more about St. Francis. I did enjoy the book, and appreciated both the writing and the logic that abounds in Chesterton’s writing.

If you are at all interested in reading this book, the kindle edition is only $2.99. I checked it out from the Oak Ridge Library, and it was delightfully old…published in the nineteen twenties, I believe. The pages were yellow and smelled like a library, and the spine and edges had been reinforced with tape. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of reading this old edition.