”There is a fresh I-don’t-care-ness that accompanies belief in the gospel. Whether you like me or not doesn’t matter, because my worth and my dignity and my identity are anchored in God’s approval. Christ won all of the approval and acceptance I need.”
–Tullian Tchividjian
This is not an easy thing to say, but I need to say it so I can get past the major writer’s block here on my blog. Please be kind in any comments you leave for me. I am hurting, and I don’t need to be kicked. I probably already know why you think it is wrong just as well as you do, anyway. That said…
Chris and I have split up. We have been separated for two months. We are going to get divorced, but we decided yesterday to stay separated for an extended period of time so that, when we do actually get divorced, I will be in a better position than I am now to take care of myself and the kids. It was Chris’ idea to wait. He doesn’t want to get divorced. I agreed to wait because it is beneficial to me and the kids to wait. I will not be blogging about the reasons behind the decision to get divorced. I have already heard from several people who think I’m a very bad person. I will not defend myself by making known things which are no one’s business but ours. I do not want things said to my children that they do not need to know about. I appreciate all of you who already knew about our situation who have reached out to me in kindness. I appreciate those of you who think I’m terrible but have refrained from telling me so. I also appreciate those of you who will respond to this post in kindness. I am definitely learning who my real friends are through this ordeal.
There have been and will be a lot of transitions for our family. The decision to divorce does not take away our family ties, nor would we wish it to. Chris and I have four beautiful children together, and we will do everything in our power to protect their hearts and raise them to love God and love people. We appreciate your prayers…especially prayers for the children. They are going to start public school for the first time in the next week or so. Remember them as you pray that they will adjust well to the differences.
I thought about closing comments on this post, but have decided to leave them open. I am going to trust the good in people to prevail over the desire to “preach”. I’m not going to be blogging anymore specifically about the separation or divorce. I simply wanted to clear the air and not have to worry about what I blog. It’s known that Chris and I are living separate, and I think that’s all that needs to be said. I will however continue to blog my life. Sometimes it feels like this situation is my life, but it’s not.
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
The LORD will rescue his servants;
no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.
I have finished the forty-seventh book in my Epic 100 Book Attempt of 2011!
Unplanned by Abby Johnson is a very thought-provoking book. This book tells the story of Abby Johnson, a former director of a Planned Parenthood clinic, who, during an ultrasound-guided abortion she was helping with, realized the brutality and horrific reality of what abortion really is and had to face the dichotomy between her Christian beliefs and her position within the pro-choice culture. She ended up “switching sides” and became an advocate for the Pro-Life movement.
I feel like this book has the potential to make a LOT of people angry, but it will also have the effect of making people think. Johnson is very honest about her own life, including her decision to have two separate abortions herself. She is honest about her struggle differentiating the work that Planned Parenthood does that is legitimately beneficial to women’s health and the work that they do that costs millions of babies their lives. This book is also an inside look into the organization through the eyes of a clinic director.
I recommend this book. It was worth the read.
I also finished my forty-eighth book which was a topical, non-fiction book.
I follow the blog of the Haitian ministry, God’s Littlest Angels. This is an orphan care and adoption ministry that God is using to save a lot of little lives in Haiti. They are in the running for a grant that is decided by votes. Will you click here and go to the Giving of Life website and click the Vote button. All you have to do is vote, and they are a little bit closer to getting the grant money.
You can follow the ministry at their blog, Life in Haiti Goes On.
I have finished the thirtieth book in my Epic 100 Book Attempt of 2011.
From Amazon’s website:
“Sandra Hack Polaski introduces readers to the letters and world of Paul, encouraging a critical appreciation of Paul and his writings that does not require a choice between commitment to the scriptures and integrity as a modern feminist. In conversation with the leading interpreters of Paul and considering possible responses to Paul-conformist, resistant, rejectionist, and transformational-Polaski forges her own theory of how to interpret Paul. She reads, emphasizes, and reinterprets overlooked, neglected, misintegrated, or differently interpreted Pauline texts, making visible the invisible and challenging the accepted readings. Polaski uncovers both the ideologies behind the text and the ideologies the text seeks to suppress. She traces the trajectories toward which the texts point even if Paul did not fully follow the trajectories to their logical end. Such a program leads Polaski to find God’s New Creation as the operative center of Pauline thought.”
I posted the above product description, because I felt like I couldn’t do it justice. The folllowing, though, are my own thoughts:
I came across a used copy of A Feminist Introduction to Paul at the used bookstore the other day, and it was almost as if the skies parted and a beam of heavenly light shone down on the book as an angel choir sang in the background. Okay, maybe not exactly like that, but it was pretty darn close. I have struggled with the teachings of Paul for a long time, but my commitment to Scripture held me at an impasse. Sandra Hack Polaski’s in-depth, scholarly take on Paul and his teachings has really helped to illuminate some of the issues that have been like an uncomfortable rock in my shoe. I’m not sure yet how this book has and will affect my belief system, but I can say that I don’t dislike Paul like before. It seems that he may not have been quite the misogynistic oppressor of women that I (in my worst moments) thought he was.
I know a lot of my friends and acquaintances who sometimes read my blog have been freaked out since they first read the title of the book I am reviewing, and I certainly don’t expect anyone to read this book just because I like it. However, for the open-minded, it’s a fresh take on an old conversation, and can help to reconcile a respectful commitment to Scripture with that tug-of-war within the mind of a woman who wants to serve God in the church.
A Post In Bullet Points
Day five of our trip dawned bright and early at the Hampton Inn in Springfield, MO. It’s hard to sleep in when eight people are sleeping in various groups and piles all over such a small area. We assembled ourselves into a somewhat presentable state and went downstairs to breakfast.
It was very interesting listening to everything around us while we ate our (very yummy) breakfast. The lady who worked at the hotel in the breakfast area was asking everyone where they were from. A lot of our fellow hotel guests were from Joplin, and were staying at the hotel because their homes had been destroyed. The lady would hug them and praise God that they were alive. It was pretty touching. While all of this was going on, the television above us was playing nonstop weather…either Joplin coverage or warning of the impending danger of tornadoes between Springfield and Oklahoma City. Since we were planning on traveling right through that path, we were trying to hurry and get out of town to try to beat the storm. So, with bellies full, we hit the road again.
We soon passed by Joplin. The Interstate exit ramp into Joplin was, of course, closed, but we still saw a lot of damage just passing by. It was mostly twisted and mangled signs, large housing debris, and then smaller debris. We could see one neighborhood, though, where all of the trees had fallen on top of the houses, collapsing the roofs. It was pretty sad. It was heartbreaking to think that we couldn’t even see the most heavily hit area, and very sobering to think of all the many, many lives lost in the Joplin tornado.
After the drama of driving past Joplin, the drive was pretty tame. The kids were good but (VERY) loud. The following video was the product of several hours in the van and a couple of bathroom stops:
As you can see, we entertained ourselves any way we could:
The dramatic part of our trip occurred after we stopped in Oklahoma City for a bathroom break and some “lunch” at about three o’clock (4:00 Eastern). We had drove straight through until that point, only stopping for short bathroom breaks. We stopped at a Chik-fil-a, and, about halfway through our meal, the manager came and discreetly told us that there was a tornado warning one county over and the storm was moving in our direction. She that if and when Oklahoma County was put under a warning, they would lock the doors to the dining room, and we could either leave or seek shelter with them. Our dilemma was in deciding what we should do. No part of chilling out (no pun intended) in the Chik-fil-a cooler at forty degrees appealed to us, but we didn’t know if it was a good idea to drive through the storm. We really didn’t want to lose so much driving time, though, because we were hoping to get to Dumas at a decent hour. The storm wasn’t supposed to arrive in Oklahoma City for another hour. We came to the decision that we were just going to try to drive through the storm, because we figured it would probably just be a bad thunderstorm anyway.
We made it as far as the van, where I turned and asked Amy, “What do you think we should do?”
She said, “We should probably pray and ask God to help us make the right decision.” She then prayed and instructed the kids to pray, as well.
No sooner had that occurred than Amy’s iPhone sounded a weather warning, letting us know that we were under a tornado warning. As soon as we heard it, we both felt like we should not try to drive. We went back inside the Chik-fil-a, where the manager then told us that we were welcome to take shelter with them, but, as it was going to be very cold for the children, we should consider going to the Bed Bath and Beyond store across the street. So, taking his advice, we went across the street to the Bed Bath and Beyond.
Once there, we stood around feeling awkward for about half an hour until the manager of the store announced over the intercom that a tornado had been spotted in the area and all customers and employees should take shelter in the front of the store. I don’t know what we were expecting, but somehow we were surprised when we were all herded into the women’s restroom. Our little boys especially loved that. </sarcasm>
This is what the children and I looked like:
And this is what everyone else looked like:
What did we ever do in a world before smart phones?
We spent almost two hours in that bathroom when it was all said and done. It was mostly boring and uneventful, but there was a few minutes when the storm picked up and large roofing tiles were blown into the roof of the store. That part was very frightening. When the storm finally passed, we got in the van and proceeded to get the heck out of Dodge Oklahoma City, amid the blaring of tornado sirens (for the eastern part of the city).
As we set off westward, we discussed how we believed we had made the right decision. We were disappointed about how much later we were going to get where we were going, but we felt like we had made the safe choice. As we got about thirty minutes down the road, we begin seeing debris along the roadsides here and there…a toppled barn…a broken sign. It was when we got to El Reno, Oklahoma that we saw the true reality of the Lord’s protection over us and our children. An EF4 tornado hit El Reno right about the time we would have been traveling through there. Our mouth’s hung open and our pulses quickened as we very vividly saw what might of been. We passed the wreckage of truck after truck on both sides of the highway, the large swath of devastated homes and cars and landscape, and we even saw rescue workers loading a body bag into the back of a truck. Those who tried to drive through the storm didn’t make it. We later learned that at least three lives had been claimed by the tornado, and more people were injured. While we only saw the remains of semi trucks along the road, it was reported that cars that had tried to drive through were ripped to pieces and flung in all directions. The personal vehicles had already been cleared from the interstate by the time we passed through.
I will add some video that Amy took as soon as she gets it uploaded. It was pretty intense.
After that sobering few minutes, we spent the rest of the trip was pretty low key. We arrived in Dumas, Texas a little after eleven p.m. central time, and went to bed almost as soon as we got here. Having met Amy’s family when we made this same trip last year, I was happy to see Amy’s parents and sister Julie that night. Especially Amy’s mom. I just love her!
Anyway, we hit the hay, and fell right to sleep. It had definitely been a very long, tiring day.
Today has been a long day. We didn’t leave Fort Knox until early afternoon. We grabbed lunch in Elizabethtown, and then set off toward Sikeston, Missouri.
We decided to go through Paducah and Sikeston instead of through St. Louis to get to Springfield. Why? Lambert’s Cafe, of course! Home of the famous Throwed Rolls!
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Amy said Owen was making the “Facebook kiss” face that all the silly little girls like to post on Facebook.
Amy Jo and me. We were very happy to be at Lambert’s…and out of the van for a while.
If you are not familiar with Lambert’s Cafe, well, I feel sorry for you. It’s a wonderful place. They have all kinds of country style food. You pick your entrée, your sides, and then you also get “Pass Alongs”. Those are sides…like fried okra, macaroni and tomatoes, black eyed peas, and fried potatoes…that servers walk around ladling onto your plate in addition to the food you order. Then of course, the most famous of all, the Throwed Rolls. Why are they called “Throwed” rolls? I’m glad you asked. They are called that because the server stands at the end of the room and throws the rolls to you. It’s loads of fun. The kids got about three rolls each, just so they could have the fun of catching them. Amy took some videos, but they aren’t uploaded yet. I’ll share them here when they are. The kids…especially my kids who had never been to Lambert’s before…had a blast. It was kind of nostalgic for me, too, because Chris and I ate in that exact restaurant on our honeymoon ten years ago.
After dinner at Lambert’s, we got back on the road headed for Springfield, Missouri where we had a hotel room waiting on us. (Thanks, Joel!) Driving through Missouri is kind of boring. At least on that route. There wasn’t much to look at, and the roads were so straight that you barely had to use any brain power to drive.
Driving
Not Driving
This is the boring road ahead of us.
Amy was thinking, “That Rachel. She’s flat out amazing. The way that she can drive for hours with the kids making those shrieking sounds…amazing. The way she knows all the words to all the youth choir songs on that ever so lovely cd made with such stellar audio ten years ago at the Tabernacle…amazing. The way she manages to do it all while looking so cute and being so funny and charming, too? Amazing!”
The following photos are for comparison:
This is me at the beginning of the drive.
This is me about seven hours into the trip. I call it, “Going a little nuts.”
Abby was kind of over it at that point, too. Can you imagine being strapped in one position in a car seat for an eight or nine hour drive? She gets the “best baby” award. Not only did she ride almost the entire way with no crying, but she also waited for our stops to use the potty. She only had one wet diaper all day! Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
A pretty sunset ahead of us.
With that, we end the photo-journaling portion of our blog post. After the last picture was taken, the heavens broke forth and the wrath of God in droplet form rained down upon me and made driving miserable for the last hour or so. By the time we pulled into our hotel parking lot, my entire upper body was stiff and sore, I had a headache, and my eyes were burning and aching from the strain of trying to see. Tomorrow, I think I’ll get up and do it all again. Hopefully, minus the rain.
Goodnight, and God Bless!
I have finished the twenty-third book in my Epic 100 Book Attempt of 2011.
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath was intriguing to me. This book is loosely autobiographical. In it, Plath describes the harrowing descent into mental illness that transformed Esther Greenwood, the protagonist, from a successful honors student at an all-girls university to a numb and detached patient in a mental asylum.
In the poetry class that I took this past semester, we read several of Plath’s poems. I also read some by her husband, Ted Hughes. Plath’s writings take on an edge of intrigue when you know that she eventually took her own life. The pain and mental torment described in The Bell Jar were real. They were hers.
Sylvia Plath was an amazing poet, and her writing skills shine just as bright in her delicious prose. I thoroughly enjoyed reading The Bell Jar. I give it two thumbs up.
I didn’t want to create a whole post for nothing, so I am just going to add this bit of info here. I have read Books 24 and 25, but am not reviewing them. They were both topical, non-fiction.
I have finished the twenty-second book in my Epic 100 Book Attempt of 2011.
Naomi and her Daughters by Walter Wangerin Jr. is a book that I got for free on Kindle. (It’s not free anymore, but it was for a time.) I don’t want to be too harsh in my review of this book, because I’m sure a lot of time and heart went into writing it, but I”m going to be honest.
This book is a novel based on the lives of the Biblical Naomi and the people in her life, including Elimilech, Mahlon, Chilion, Orpah Ruth, Boaz, and Milcah. I realize that this book is a work of fiction, but I had a hard time getting around the fact that this novel is based on the lives of real people. You wouldn’t pick a family from more recent history, let’s say the Kennedy family, and write completely fictionalized accounts of their personalities, their interpersonal relationships, and their thoughts and actions and expect it to be well received. I felt the same kind of emotional kickback in response to having these people from ancient history fictionalized. I didn’t particularly like the personalities the author gave them, and it was hard when this story didn’t jive with what the Bible actually does say about these people.
All that aside, the story is about Naomi, her “adopted daughter”, Milcah, and her daughter-in-law, Ruth, along with the various men in the book, with Boaz playing the only prominent male role.
While the story was somewhat interesting once you get past the dissonance between what you grew up hearing in Sunday School and the fictionalized version in this book, I just couldn’t get past the poor writing. This was a novel set in the ancient Hebrew world, but the word choices and imagery didn’t always fit in that setting. The writing felt forced at times, and even stilted. I could never lose myself in the story, because the writing jolted me out of the moment and into a mental struggle with the author’s word choices. As I read it, I assumed this must be a first novel, but, turns out, the author has written quite a few other books. I don’t want to be mean in my review, so I’ll just leave that there.
I can’t recommend this book, because I honestly did not enjoy it. I wanted to call it quits about half way through, but I kept reading it for the sole purpose of finishing a book for this 100 Book project. I didn’t like the story, and I just could not get past the sub par writing. I’m not proposing that I could do better, but, as an avid reader, this is just not quality writing. You get what you pay for, though, and this book was free. At least, I am one book closer to my goal.
