In my favorite poem by Robert Frost, Nothing Gold Can Stay, he reminds us that like the seasons of nature, life is one season melting into another, and quickly fading away. This is my attempt to document each season in my life and my family.

The Neverending Day of Nothing

Filed under: Abby Jo,Elijah,Family,Kids,Kyra,Love,Owen,Random Thoughts — Rachel at 12:13 am on Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Today has lasted forever. Well, actually, I just looked at the time and today has turned into tomorrow. I feel like I’ve done nothing at all today. I have spent most of it right here on this couch.

I woke up around eight this morning with a little girl who was not going back to sleep. I woke up exhausted. I had spent the night with a sick little boy and a sick’ish little girl. Owen has been sick for days…cough, congestion, and low grade fevers, and Abby Jo has a congested nose. They were both in bed with me. Owen mostly slept, but did so fitfully at times, due to his coughing. Abby Jo didn’t sleep well at all. Poor baby couldn’t breathe well because she was so congested, but when I suctioned her nose with the nasal aspirator she would wake up. Once I would finally get her to sleep, I would drift off for a while, only to wake again when she got too stuffy again. It was not a good night of sleep at all.

After a night like that, I was up long enough to change her diaper, check my email, nurse her, and make Owen a doctor’s appointment. Then, I sent Elijah after a pillow and blanket for me, and settled in right here on the couch for a nap. I woke up at one o’clock, left Kyra in charge of her sister, and went to take a shower. Half way through my shower, Kyra came and reported that she was “going through the list…I put a blanket over her to see if she was too cold, but she didn’t stop crying. So, I unbuttoned her sleeper to see if she was too warm, but she didn’t stop crying. She might be hungry, but I can’t feed her. She needs you. I checked in her diaper and saw poop, so I thinks he needs her diaper changed, too.” I’m sure you probably heard the frustrated sigh that I sighed. I told her to go wake up her daddy, and I’d be out in a minute. When I emerged from the bathroom dripping and wrapped in a towel, I found Abby Jo, not in the care of her daddy (who was still sleeping), but being crooned to by her big sister who was quite deftly changing her diaper. Kyra was doing a good job with the diaper, but Abby was having a meltdown. I finished up the diaper changing, wiped Abby’s nose, and scooped her up. I barely put her down for the rest of the day.

Abby was so worked up that, even after I nursed her, she began crying the moment I put her down. She didn’t want Chris or Kyra to hold her at all. She was only quiet if I held her. I talked Chris into taking Owen to the doctor, since Abby was so upset, and went and sat with her on the couch. I’ve been here all day. I didn’t even manage to eat for the first time until three in the afternoon. Abby obviously felt bad, but I wasn’t sure what was wrong with her. After two terrible diapers, I assumed her belly hurt.

Chris brought Owen home after a doctor’s visit that included chest x-rays, with a diagnosis of an ear infection and some antibiotics. Thankfully, he didn’t have pneumonia. He’s quite miserable, though, and cries over the least little thing. He’s sleeping in his daddy’s arms on the couch right now.

The entire day, I held Abby. She cried a lot, even when I was holding her. There were times when she seemed to be feeling better, and she smiled and cooed at me as she snuggled in my arms. She would go to sleep, but, as soon as I tried to lay her in her basket, she would wake up and cry. I resigned myself to a day full of nothingness, and just held her. She’s finally sleeping in her basket for the last fifteen minutes. That’s the longest I’ve went without holding her all day. I am tired.

As frustrating as it is to not get anything done and as tiring as it is to try to soothe a fussy infant all day, there were moments when I would look down at this breathtakingly beautiful baby in my arms and just be overwhelmed with love…staggered at the truth that this tiny, perfect little human is mine. Mine.

It’s all worth it.

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